Post by badger on Jan 25, 2014 8:44:51 GMT -5
"... hey? Hey? Hey! B! Hey B! Brianna! Hey! Hey! Brianna! HEY, BRIANNA BED WETTER!"
She froze.
Badger and Durumu were out running errands for Sherry - Badger had made the mistake of raiding her cupboards and actually got caught red (or rather, honey) handed, and as a result she was stuck with this trip to the marketplace. She had managed to convince Durumu to come along for the ride so to speak, with his height, strength and patient attitude he made the perfect companion. Especially when it came to carrying the packages back to the others .. there was only so much one halfling could wield without drowning in a pile of greased paper and string.
"I said BRIANNA BED WEMMPPH"
When the dust cleared, Durumu was treated to the sight of a halfling sitting on top of another halfling, Badger's hands firmly gripped around her victims mouth squeezing so hard it looked like his eyes were going to bug out of his face.
"Durumu. Meet my half-cousin Shultz Bullwater. Shultz? This is Durumu Halfhand, a colleague."
The male halfling merely crinkled his eyes and made some sort of muffled noise as Badger seemed to be unwilling to release him, and Durumu thought twice about helping the guy up .. the skin on Badgers hands had turned white with the pressure and it wouldn't be that hard to see her turning on him next.
"Nice to uh .. to meet you? Uh, Badger, what was with th--"
"You heard that did you? HaHA the things kids say."
She laughed, but didn't sound amused.
"This may come as a surprise, but not all halflings are jolly, kind little butterballs of fun and good will. Yes. Yes I know its shocking, I am such a paragon example of compassion. But there we have it, the stereotype runs far and wide and little sociopaths like Shultz depend on it."
Badger grinned and gave the male halfling a little shake, prompting a sort of squeaking noise from her seat.
"Oh shush. When we were kids, Shultz here thought it would be funny to poke holes in my hot water skin. Tiny, tiny holes they were barely the size of a needle. Didn't notice it myself as I was out like a light. But come morning, my blankets were soaked and he ran around the village telling everyone that I had wet the bed. Hah! Such fun! The gossip spread like wildfire, it was ubiquitous. It took weeks to repair the damage, and Shultz here never seemed to be able to drop it and why should he? The bed was wet: therefore, Brianna was a bed wetter! The logic was irrefutable to a child, never mind that the little shit poked the holes in the water skin in the first place!"
Fingers tightened on the halflings mouth, those tiny nails succeeding in drawing a little blood from the skin.
"And so Durumu, that's how I got the nickname Brianna Bed Wetter! Because this little sociopath wouldn't leave well enough alone!"
Leaning down, she was nose to nose with the other halfling.
"And if I ever hear you call me that in public again, I will eat. Your. Face."
Her features twisted just enough to let through a hint of a badgerbear monstrous hybrid before she pushed herself off her cousin and gave him a swift kick in the sides. Turning away as he scrambled to his feet and vanished, she'd glare at the crowd she attracted, leant over to give Durumu (who was looking more and more confused by the second) a pat on his flank and indicating that they should best get going before the market guards saw reason to chuck them out. Sherry would be pissed if they didn't get everything on the list!
She froze.
Badger and Durumu were out running errands for Sherry - Badger had made the mistake of raiding her cupboards and actually got caught red (or rather, honey) handed, and as a result she was stuck with this trip to the marketplace. She had managed to convince Durumu to come along for the ride so to speak, with his height, strength and patient attitude he made the perfect companion. Especially when it came to carrying the packages back to the others .. there was only so much one halfling could wield without drowning in a pile of greased paper and string.
"I said BRIANNA BED WEMMPPH"
When the dust cleared, Durumu was treated to the sight of a halfling sitting on top of another halfling, Badger's hands firmly gripped around her victims mouth squeezing so hard it looked like his eyes were going to bug out of his face.
"Durumu. Meet my half-cousin Shultz Bullwater. Shultz? This is Durumu Halfhand, a colleague."
The male halfling merely crinkled his eyes and made some sort of muffled noise as Badger seemed to be unwilling to release him, and Durumu thought twice about helping the guy up .. the skin on Badgers hands had turned white with the pressure and it wouldn't be that hard to see her turning on him next.
"Nice to uh .. to meet you? Uh, Badger, what was with th--"
"You heard that did you? HaHA the things kids say."
She laughed, but didn't sound amused.
"This may come as a surprise, but not all halflings are jolly, kind little butterballs of fun and good will. Yes. Yes I know its shocking, I am such a paragon example of compassion. But there we have it, the stereotype runs far and wide and little sociopaths like Shultz depend on it."
Badger grinned and gave the male halfling a little shake, prompting a sort of squeaking noise from her seat.
"Oh shush. When we were kids, Shultz here thought it would be funny to poke holes in my hot water skin. Tiny, tiny holes they were barely the size of a needle. Didn't notice it myself as I was out like a light. But come morning, my blankets were soaked and he ran around the village telling everyone that I had wet the bed. Hah! Such fun! The gossip spread like wildfire, it was ubiquitous. It took weeks to repair the damage, and Shultz here never seemed to be able to drop it and why should he? The bed was wet: therefore, Brianna was a bed wetter! The logic was irrefutable to a child, never mind that the little shit poked the holes in the water skin in the first place!"
Fingers tightened on the halflings mouth, those tiny nails succeeding in drawing a little blood from the skin.
"And so Durumu, that's how I got the nickname Brianna Bed Wetter! Because this little sociopath wouldn't leave well enough alone!"
Leaning down, she was nose to nose with the other halfling.
"And if I ever hear you call me that in public again, I will eat. Your. Face."
Her features twisted just enough to let through a hint of a badgerbear monstrous hybrid before she pushed herself off her cousin and gave him a swift kick in the sides. Turning away as he scrambled to his feet and vanished, she'd glare at the crowd she attracted, leant over to give Durumu (who was looking more and more confused by the second) a pat on his flank and indicating that they should best get going before the market guards saw reason to chuck them out. Sherry would be pissed if they didn't get everything on the list!