badger's spellbook

[badger]

---

call the elders

---

“Now clear your mind and relax. Picture nothing but a small seed glowing in the darkness. Focus on that seed, feel the energy of new life within it. See that seed gently split open, roots escaping to connect with the void. Picture the fledgling sprout rising up from its former shell to spread tentative limbs towards. See that sprout, watch as it ages and grows and become everything, connected to everything. The leaves glisten, the bark glows, the roots spread and interconnect with every aspect of life. The leaves will eventually fall and nourish the earth, which will in turn feed the roots, which allows the tree to grow ever higher and take energy through its leaves as they arc towards the sun.”

The woman paced back and forth gracefully across the garden, her skirts swishing with a gentle rhythm as her melodious voice sprinkled down on Badger's ears. She was breathtakingly beautiful in the way only an elven woman could be, with long shining silver blonde hair that never seemed to stray out of place and striking almond shaped eyes the green of a fresh summer meadow after the rain. She was tall and slender and moved like a dancer, every crook of her arm or bend of knee seeming fit for a kings audience. Her face was kind and patient, and though Gwynethorialestra (just Gwyn to save confusion) was often a strict taskmistress she never belittled anyone as long as they displayed a genuine willingness to learn and the right attitude.

In short, she was the polar opposite of Badger with her bristly mane and aggressive demeanor. But as the latter wanted to learn, the former offered her time.

“This is the Tree of Life, the network of natural energies that connect to all things, the latticework of change that we tap into each time we perform our branch of magic. Now I want you to picture yourself sinking into that tree in your mind, feel the energy as it flows into your body, coursing through your veins, taste life itself. Feel every leaf and root and inch of bark.”

Badger wrinkled her nose, at this stage she wasn’t sure she felt much of anything. Her eyes were shut tight as she attempted to follow Gwyn's explicit instructions. It wasn't easy. While that hushed singsong voice was indeed relaxing, the cooks were baking again and each twist of a breeze took the aroma to Badger's nostrils and invaded her senses and concentration. The number of times her Tree of Life had grown up and sprouted cherry pastries .. How was a halfling to focus?!

“I want you to practice this technique as much as possible Badger, you won't be able to perform even the most rudimentary castings until you can open yourself up to the Tree of Life. It could be that you simply don't have the knack for it .. not everyone does. But if you have the potential we need to discover it, the Old Faith would benefit from another caster in its arsenal.”

Badger nodded and opened her eyes. The hardest part was focusing when so much was going on. Each time she closed her eyes it was like the world opened up and went out of its way to distract her.

“But for now, I'm going to teach you a casting that even the most spellblind Ovate can master. Call the Elders was designed to be accessible to everyone who has sworn allegiance to the Old Faith so that when we are in need of guidance we can tap into the vast knowledge of those who have come before us. Until we have discerned whether or not you have any potential, Call the Elders will only work on soil belonging to the Old Faith, or places of enhanced power such as megalithic circles where the fabric is most sensitive to even the smallest of vibrations. Now ..”

Gwyn removed an item from her bag and handed it to Badger. It was a chunky stub of stone that was a greyish white and left a residue on her fingers.

“I want you to take this and draw a circle. Don't panic, I have a picture that you are to copy. When you have been with us a while we will give you something that will be used as a focus instead of the chalk but until then we need to do this the old fashioned way.”

A sheet of paper was presented that had a strange circle drawn on it. It was made up of various glyphs and scratchings that seemed to twist underneath her scrutiny and made her eyes water. Blinking furiously she got down on her hands and knees and began to draw the circle on the impacted ground, occasionally witnessing Gwyn scrub out a section with her shoe and a word of admonishment. Badgers tongue was soon stuck out from the side of her mouth and her brow was beading with sweat, this was far worse than having to write in her journal each evening! These were letters and words she couldn't read no matter which way she looked at them, and she made her way around the inside of the circle she saw them from all possible angles.

Eventually, Gwyn nodded with satisfaction.

“Acceptable. Now do what I told you earlier .. Picture the seed, the roots, the Tree of Life. With practice it will come easier, and if you have an affinity to the power you will become capable of accessing this link without meditation. It will ennoble you to practice every evening, Badger.”

The halfling nodded, closing her eyes and taking slow deep breaths. In through the nose .. out through the mouth .. in through the nose .. out through the mouth .. She pictured the seed in her mind, its tiny little form hanging in the void where no sound or substance surely could exist. And yet there it was, miniscule cracks slowly running along its surface as the embryo gradually matured and broke the seed coat to release itself into the void.

She breathed.

The little fledgling languidly unfurled to spread tiny leaves as it began to grow, offshoots that would eventually form branches reaching towards what it perceived to be the sky as roots twisted and snaked beneath.

In through the nose ..

The tiny tree shook its branches and spread across the void, glistening with golden green energy that ran through its limbs and trunk like veins carrying blood from the heart, its roots spiraling ever downwards in its search for nourishment.

Out through the mouth ..

Her skin tingled as the leaves expanded higher and higher, a vague buoyant sensation unfurling in her belly as she slowly breathed, the feeling growing as each breath seemed to pulse with the golden green glow of the tree in her mind.

“Well? What do you want? Haven’t got all day you know!”

Badger was pulled from her reverie by the sound of a hollow voice to the right of her ear, eyes snapping open so that she could seek out - and find - the source of the voice. Though no matter how much she twisted and turned she couldn’t see who had spoken, and after staring at Gwyn in confusion for a few moments, the woman pointed a delicate finger at a patch of air off Badger’s shoulder.

“If you have affinity, you will eventually be able to discern the spirits incorporeal form. Until then, you may only speak with them while within this circle.”

Badger stared at the patch of air intently. Perhaps it was just a trick of the light, but could she see a slight shimmer in the air?

“Well? I didn’t come here to be ignored! Get on with it so I can get back to the rest of my afterlife!”

Well. Whoever it was Badger - or perhaps Gwyn - had summoned was particularly foul tempered! Gwyn hadn’t told her what to do next, but she had claimed that it was a casting used to garner information, so perhaps ..

“.. do you know what’s for dinner tonight, spirit?”

“.......”

She didn’t need Gwyn to tell her that the spirit had gone off in a huff.

“Ah .. our elders are often proud individuals in death as they were in life. Maybe next time you could treat it a little more seriously .. ?”

“But I was serious! That was a very important question!”

Badger was indignant. It had been a very important question. Most people would wonder why she hadn’t asked one of the cooks herself .. well .. the head cook had banned her from the kitchens for liberating a few honey cakes. There had been no proof it was Badger, not exactly, but one of the sparrows had spotted the halfling in the area not long before the theft: and the halfling kept forgetting that more than a few of the people in the Enclave had a knack with animals. She’d honestly considered paying them off with a little extra grain in the mornings ..

“In any event, now you know what to expect the next time you feel the need to use this casting. Just keep in mind that you should not abuse this ability, as sooner or later the spirits may stop answering your call as word gets around. But for now though, I expect you to practice your meditation for thirty minutes each evening, I will be checking on your progress and I will know if you have been shirking your duties. Now, off you go, I expect that someone will need you to perform some task or another.”

Badger nodded, smudging the lines of the circle with her feet as she scooted out of it before breaking off into a run to the main building. She was making progress.

[badger]

---

shapeshift

---

“Jus relax. Don' force it. This is somethin' natural, let it come to ya.”

Janai's hushed words floated lightly on the breeze, the large woman slowly pacing around Badger's prone form. The pair of them had left the confines of the Enclave and settled themselves down in a quiet part of the surrounding woodlands, a lush clearing that hadn't fared too badly in the recent storms - that thankfully hadn't resulted in the need for any obsequies - and only needed a short amount of time dedicated to shifting fallen tree branches before they sat down to work. The air around them was crisp and light in the wake of the terrible weather, the sky only minimally cloudy and unusually warm for the time of year. For the moment it was dry, but as the breeze picked up it carried with it a hint of rainfalls to come.

Badger was sat on the grass with a relaxed posture, her arms and legs loose with the tension sinking down into the earth. She attempted to clear her mind, empty it of all the common everyday concerns and anything else that would hold her back from a state of higher learning. It wasn't easy, but with the practice assigned by Gwyn over the last few days she found it easier to focus on the tree within her mind, to connect to it and feel its energies flowing through her. If she had to sit and analyse this she wouldn't be certain whether this was all in her head or not - but you had to suppose that was what faith was all about. The moment she started doubting however, the tenuous grip on her image was lost, and she had to begin anew.

With each breath she felt a subtle heat flowing from her lungs, her heart beat carrying warmth through her veins and along her bodies extremities. Her fingers tingled and she could feel something building, but from where she did not know only that as it grew stronger it threatened to carry her away with it.

“Relax .. let it come to ya. Don' be afraid ..”

She wasn't sure when it started, only that her became aware of her skin beginning to itch and a vague ache deep within her bones as the heat continued to build within. She could feel something happening, a prickly sensation sprouting all across her body as if her blood flow had been constricted and then released suddenly.

“What ... “

The pain started in her hands, lancing from her fingertips with a white hot flame that only grew in intensity as the seconds passed, crawling up her wrists to spread along her arms. As she looked she saw her fingers shrinking against themselves, compacting further into her hands whilst the tips sprouted sharp claws and a thick fur erupted from her skin. A sharp cracking noise sounded in her ears and she could feel something pulling at her face, her jaws pushing against the skin as if attempting to break free from the fragile shell.

“'atsh ackenin oo ee??!”

“Ya are connecting wid the Tree of Life, an through this connection it is allowin ya to assume the body of another animal. A tendril of energy is passin information between ya’self an the body ya want to assume, an the Tree is translatin that information in a way that ya can parse. Where does our extra meat go when we assume a body that is smaller than our own? Where do we get the extra meat from when we take on a form that is bigger than our own? The Tree provides, an we provide for the Tree, an ya are allowed these little miracles within ya day to day existence. We have this link an we are blessed.”

Badger panicked, stubby hands flying to her face as if to protect it from what was occuring, her jaw aching and groaning as it stretched out, her skull compressing downwards.

“No! Try to calm down, ya only make it worse if ya resist!”

Her body arched up as another spike was driven through her chest, her breathing constricted as her torso was compressed like an accordion whilst her limbs were drawn into her body. She closed her eyes tight, retching pathetically while her stomach was shifted around inside her pained form. Blood burning in her veins, tears streamed from fogged eyes and dripped down a twisted face to land on the soil, a malformed fist striking the earth in agony as she howled.

The changes were coming in hard and fast now, the world around her taking on a black and white quality and growing blurred as her eyes shrunk along with the rest of her. Her groans of distress gradually devolved into a series of high pitched chittering sounds as her mouth grew unable to form the words within her head, her body twitching and shaking as the last of the pain faded away to leave only a dull ache and sense of fatigue.

“It grows easier wid time an proficiency. We don' truly know why it hurts so much the first few times we change .. perhaps we are using a muscle long since forgotten. Or perhaps it is a test of our conviction to stick to the path we have chosen. Just know that some shapes come easier than others, an the first is usually linked to ya appellation. If ya want to assume any other forms, ya are expected to study them personally - the Tree will not do all the work for ya, it just provides the connection to make it easier on ya.”

Badger glanced up from her low position. While she could no longer see Janai as clearly as she once could - the woman viewed as a somewhat smudged mass against the landscape - her hearing was very keen, and she could still understand each word as it was spoken. Looking around, she located a puddle in the upraised roots of a tree more by scent than eye - tilting her head this way and that while she examined her own reflection in the muddy water. A long sloping snout, bristling black and white fur, sharp intelligent eyes and small rounded ears.

A badger.

I'm fricken adorable!

“Yes, ya are.”

Badger turned suddenly, tripping up over her own paws and rolling onto her back, wriggling around in the dirt until she righted herself with a shake.

You can hear me?

“In a manner a speaking. One of the many skills you can learn within the Enclave is the ability to understand animals to a degree. It isn't like telepathy or mind reading, ya grow more empathetic to their moods and feelings. In ya case, ya still retain the mind ya held in ya halfling body - an so it is easy to read ya as there is no language barrier, so to speak. Ya will be hard pressed to get ya intentions across to anyone who is not sensitive to animals, but it can be done with a few natural spells. Perhaps Gwyn will teach ya the hows - an whys - later.”

The badger stared at Janai, and nodded. She would have to have a long talk with Gwyn, as surely understanding why these things occurred would make them easier in the future.

[badger]

---

shapeshift: bear

---

Badger was troubled.

Through the incompetence of her own group member she had her first taste of death. Not to be overly melodramatic, but she knew intrinsically that had he cut a little deeper, pushed a little harder, or aimed a little higher she wouldn't be marching through the woods right now. Whatever he said, she knew that he had botched his aim and struck her hard, and it was his insistence to the other group members that she had gotten in his way that hacked her off the most (though being hit by supposedly friendly fire was admittedly annoying enough). Accidents happen though, especially in the heat of battle as she had seen when the Enclave had been under attack by forces she now suspected had been sent by one of their own (which was a whole other troubling set of matters). But irrespective of how she had nearly met her end, she had felt the keen cut of a blade that wicked away her life force as if it was nothing, and that sense of helplessness disturbed her. Halflings were taught from a very young age to enjoy life and damn the consequences, but how was she to enjoy life fully if it could be taken away so easily?

It was too early in the morning for this philosophical crap, and Badger never did have much of a head for philosophy anyway.

But it was because of these recent events that she was currently huddled within a group of rocks near the northern mountains in Sarkotos. Her body was pressed close to the ground to make herself as small as possible as she trained her eyes on a cave some distance from her makeshift hide. Janai had said that you had to work at any subsequent shapeshifts in order for them to become yours, and so Badger reasoned that the best way to go about this would be to observe the subject of her desires personally. She needed to get stronger. In her current state she was an easy target for jerks like him, her size and lack of strength made it easy for bullies like that, and while Badger was no stranger to a fight as a result of standing up for herself she knew first hand how painful those claws were. But now ..

A badger was small and weak.

A bear .. perhaps he'd think twice before going out of his way to tangle with a bear that would be easily twice his size, five times his weight and goddess only knew how much stronger.

But then again as far as she was concerned he wasn’t particularly bright either.

So she had been here for the better part of a day observing a cave the rangers had assured her contained a she-bear. She had seen her a few times, ambling in and out without a care in the world, padding through the surrounding forests with an easy going gait that belied her strength. Badger didn't dare move from her hiding place while the bear was out and about out of concern that she would attract attention, but she could see her as clearly as if she was standing right in front of her. She could make out the individual hairs on its thick sturdy brown pelt, the size of her powerful paws and the imprints left behind in the ground due to her weight, those dark eyes shining with intelligence and those tufted ears twitching as they took in the sounds within the forest. She had crouched in that cleft simply watching the cave as she attempted to relax and reach out with that other sense she had touched upon vaguely with her meditations, this other sense somehow connected with the Tree of Life that she could swear she felt as a tiny bud deep within her consciousness that was opening up at an excruciatingly measured pace. It could be all within her imagination, but to her this tentative connection with her surroundings felt real enough. If she concentrated she could almost feel the negligible pressure of the individual stones beneath her paws, a vague itching sensation along her back, and a dull need to fill up her stores so that she might survive the coming winter when food would be more scarce. In some respects, it was like connecting with a large furry halfling capable of ripping you open in a single swipe.

Really, that was an idea she could get behind. Especially those long winter naps.

As she watched the cave she could see the she-bear begin to emerge again for another hunting trip - perhaps another walk down to the river to play with the fish - and Badger felt her consciousness drift to the right with a curious itching sensation along her scalp and skin. Goosebumps erupted along her arms beneath the practical cloth and she resisted the urge to scratch at her limbs as the bear came to a halt and looked over at Badger’s hiding place. For a brief moment there was the strange feeling of looking in at oneself from the outside, a series of badgers and bears superimposed upon each other that layered into infinity until her eyes crossed and the connection was broken with a blink.

“Uh ..”

The bear shook its head, taking a tentative step backward before it growled deep and plodded forward.

Badger froze.

Maybe it wouldn’t ..

.. no, no it was still coming forward.

Maybe .. perhaps .. yeah ..

In one smooth motion Badger stood up, turned, and ran.

Behind her, a deep bellow shook the leaves on the trees and turned her legs to jelly, but that didn’t hinder her mad dash away from the six hundred pounds of angry furry muscle. If she had taken the time to stop and think, she would have remembered that Geraint had assured her that bears were often shy creatures and easily spooked, that at this time of year there were yet no cubs for the she-bear to defend, and as the she-bear had already been off hunting a few times today she probably did not view Badger as a food source. She would have also recalled that bears could outrun a halfling easily.

“Buggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbugger”

The halfling darted around a rocky outcrop and struck out to the left, relying on her superior reflexes to make the sharp turn while the rapidly approaching she-bear stumbled to round the corner with her wider center of gravity. She knew that she couldn’t last at this speed for very long, she had the agility but she lacked in the endurance department. Her brain ticked over a few times in the silent hour between panicked heartbeats and she took a flying leap at a nearby tree, scrabbling up the length with hands grabbing onto any available hold to propel her up, toes finding gaps in the very bark despite her thick boots as she all but ran up the silent sentinel.

And so did the bear.

“SINCE WHEN COULD YOU CLIMB TREES WHO KNEW BEARS COULD CLIMB TREES NO ONE TOLD ME BEARS COULD CLIMB TREES DID I MISS AN EDICT SAYING YOU WERE ALLOWED TO DO THAT”

The bear was a little slower in its upward propulsion than she was, having much more mass to shift, but she was no less determined than the smaller panicked halfling. Sweat soaking her face, she whipped her head around rapidly as the tree shook with each lurching movement and Badger realised she had run out of tree to climb. Trust her to pick the shortest tree in the forest .. swallowing, she braced her screaming muscles and took a leap of faith in the literal sense - pushing against the bark with hand and foot and launching herself backwards as the bear came up, sending the halfling over the top of the ursines head before she plummeted down to the earth.

She hit the ground running.

And probably broke another bone somewhere, but we can come to that later.

“BuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerbuggerAHA”

Pain blossomed in her body and raced along her limbs, her physical self undergoing a rapid shift that would surely hurt in the morning even as it set fire to her skin now. No sooner than her head and torso had compressed than she flung herself into the welcoming mouth of the sett, wriggling a minute as the rest of her physical self had yet to adjust to the new form she had dragged out of the Tree of Life kicking and screaming - her body stoppering up the sett like a cork in the neck of a bottle until the badger was propelled down the length of the sett by the force of an errant paw, scrabbling against the dirt walls in an attempt to dig down further until she realised she was safe. Fortunately, this was actually the case as the bear lost interest as soon as Badger was out of sight, wandering off and leaving the halfling to shiver in the dark with no worry about being dug back out. It would be a while before she felt settled enough to actually leave, and even longer before she was able to analyse what it was that had happened and the thousand and one ways she had handled it badly.

And the glimpse of the bears back that she had stolen as she passed by it in the air, the glisten of white pustulent growths deep within its fur.

[badger]

---

shapeshift: pike

---

The bear stared fixedly at the swift moving river along the bank. Its body remained stock still though its eyes were constantly on the move, parting the water with precise vision and waiting for that one moment that would make or break everything. The wind blew through the leaves overhead, ruffling the animals thick insulating fur and stirring the surface of the water with miniscule waves. It was a quiet morning. Not even a grunt came from the bear as it waited as still as a statue, the slight puff of mist leaving its mouth the only other sign of life. Suddenly, it shot its paw outward and broke the surface of the water with a splash as it attempted to claw up the slice of silver it had discerned in the river. Unfortunately, its paw came back empty and it growled with the discovery - the sound rivaled only by the deep snarl that was echoed in its belly. Undaunted, the bear loped a few paces down the river and set up a new watch with eyes trained on the water.

A few birds flew above the bear in the sky singing a song so sweet that could make a man weep, but the bear ignored them, intent upon having its breakfast.

And it didn't have to wait long.

A flash of silver sparkled beneath the surface of the water just outside of the bears reach. It would dance and turn in the water, tantalising the creature until it could take no more and when it rose briefly to the surface the bear was upon it: paw striking out quicker than the eye could follow and with all the bears weight behind it.

Bad idea.

Water arched up and into the sky as the bear entire tumbled into the water, the freezing shock absorbed by the majority of its fatty skin and thick fur but still something of a surprise as the bear went under. A sense of panic welled up, water entering its lungs as claws scrabbled against the bottom of the river and all common sense flew from its mind: the first bear in the world who did not instinctively know how to swim. When the bear looks back on its predicament it will realise that the water wasn't that deep at all - but for now a primal and instinctive fear took hold and rational thought was far from its mind. Gradually the bear grew light headed as its body began to starve for oxygen, its frantic thrashes forcing its muscles to use up the supply carried through the blood stream faster. The river roared in its ears, and the world grew dark.

Fur gone. Claws gone. Meat gone. Paws gone. Limbs gone.

A sheen of metallic olive scales erupted along the bears fuzzy length and it rapidly lost its mass and began to float along the river, its hind legs welded into one strong tail as its arms became thin strips of bony spine filled skin. Mouth opened to suck in water instinctively and it could feel the liquid rush down and through a set of feathery membranes that leached away the oxygen and pushed the water from virgin gills. The world opened up as the sensory pores on the top of its head and lower jaw worked with its lateral line and translated the vibrations in the water: it could feel a doe stamp along the river bank and bend down to drink, it could sense the movement of a smaller perch further downstream as it turned away. It no longer had ears to hear and yet the water spoke to it as clear as day right down to its bones. But most importantly, the bear was no longer drowning. The bear was now a fish.

Nose filtered the various scents of the river as they came to the fish, mouth sucking in water and tasting the different flavours offered by the doe as she lapped at the water. The only disadvantage the fish had over its previous body was the eyes, they were much smaller in relation to the rest of its head and the view it was afforded was blurry at best. But it could taste the water, its sense of smell was incredibly strong for a fish and it could feel the slightest change in the river: despite its eyes, it was still a fierce predator having reached the pinnacle of perfection. The fish twitched its new fins and tested their use, finding a satisfaction in idly swimming against the current with confident flicks of its tail, its earlier panic forgotten. Soon something interesting filtered through the current and caught its attention, a heady strong scent of smaller fish carried through the water and directly to its nose. It could almost taste it, eagerly flexing its body and cutting through the current with ease.

The scent grew stronger.

Following the trail, a flash of brilliant red caught its eye at the same time it felt the movement of a fish smaller than itself swimming in the water just ahead. Eagerly the fish opened its mouth and rows of razor sharp teeth were revealed as it began to stalk the smaller fish. Closer it got, closer and closer as the scent grew in its nose before it gave a mighty push and shot through the water with its maw closing around its prize.

And phenomenal pain lanced through its mouth.

Barbs cut deep into its flesh and a line pulled at the fish, the creature thrashing its fins in panic as it felt itself dragged through the water. But whatever had it was stronger than even this mighty pike and soon it found itself flying through the air and landing with a thump on the cold hard cruel earth. It opened its mouth to pull in water but only air burned at its gills as they worked with futility, its body flopping about on the river bank as the barbs tugged at its flesh.

“Well lookit the siza this pike! Got to be at least forty pounds if its an ounce, why I reck…”

He stopped and stared, where the fish had flopped and gasped but a moment ago there now stood a halfling. Her hair was slick against her skull, her clothes dripping with water and molded against her body like a second skin. Her warpaint was smudged and running dark rivulets of ink down her cheeks as she stared at the raggedy fisherman holding gleefully onto his rod - who stood in silence with his mouth wide open. Without saying a word, she lifted an arm and gestured vaguely at the hook that was pierced through her bottom lip, a drop of blood welling from the wound and slowly dribbling down her chin. The fisherman didn’t get it at first, but he soon dropped his rod and rummaged through his tackle box and produce a pair of snips for those awkward days where you manage to stab yourself with your own hook. He seemed barely willing to touch her and his hands shook as he carefully cut through the barb and jumped back as soon as it came apart, Badger taking it upon herself to thread the rest of the hook out of her mouth and discard the rest. Gingerly she touched her face, wincing momentarily and staring at the blood that was left on her fingertips.

“Are y-”

Quick as a flash she was on him, the sudden movement catching him off guard and they tumbled to the ground, the angry halfling pointing one finger in his face as the other hand grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled hard. She seemed to wrestle with the idea of pounding his face in, glaring at him in silence as water dripped from her hair and landed in his face, causing him to blink rapidly though he didn’t dare move in case this crazy fish-woman tried something .. well .. crazy.

“Not. One. Word.”

Finger was stabbed in his face with each syllable, the halfling hissing through her teeth with blood tainted spittle flying before she simply shoved him back to the ground and climbed off him without a word of apology, stamping off away from the river. He’d sit there and watch her retreat, the halfling steady and purposeful in her gait - though occasionally stopping to shake a leg to free trapped water from her boot.

Pike wasn’t on the menu tonight, then.